Lost Without You
by kachilee07
Summary: Even when he's there, she's still lonely. He's too busy to notice. Taking a break from life, they go to a wedding. But it's just a reminder of what they used to have. Now he's got to convince her that she's still the most important thing in his life before it's too late.


**Authors Note: So I started this with a completely different intention...but I got into a weird mood. And this popped out. **

**It's in the same universe as my chapter stories and "Chase Them Away." It's not necessary for you to have read those in order to read this, but it does have all the same characters. So it helps. For those who have read my other stories, this one takes place after "Waking Up In Vegas" ends (which, I am aware that I'm still writing it). And there's a sneak peek in here of what my final one will be with, you guessed it, Kendall. Hopefully that didn't confuse you too much. :)  
**

* * *

"I'll be home late again tonight, babe. Don't wait up."

Kate felt her heart sink as she listened to the voicemail left by her husband. This was the fifth night this week that he'd be back late.

She knew he was busy. He had just been promoted to a series regular on his TV show. On top of that, he had started to film that new movie he was so excited to be in. She remembered the day he had gotten the role. James had bolted into the kitchen, sweeping her off her feet and swinging her around before crushing his mouth to hers. When they had broken apart, he grinned foolishly at her and said simply, "I got it." Her eyes had lit up and she screamed in excitement before launching herself into his arms. Kate was so incredibly proud of him.

But as the roles continued to fly in, it meant that James had less and less time. He would call, stating that he was going to be late. On nights like that, James wouldn't walk through the door until well after Kate and their 23 month old daughter had gone to bed. The few times she _did_ see him, he was too exhausted to even talk.

Kate was thrilled that James' career was taking off. He worked insanely hard and was totally dedicated to it. And he was fabulous at it. Kate loved to just watch him as he worked, so entranced by him. She didn't think it was possible to be any more proud of him than she already was.

But despite this, things had gotten difficult. Because James was gone so much, Kate had to cut back her hours at her own store in order to watch Naomi. As much as she loved her store, it was not conducive to raising an almost two year old.

James had been there for her when she started up her store. He'd been right there as she pursued her dream. And he had supported her one hundred percent. Now that his career was taking off, Kate was just as supportive. But it didn't make it any less hard.

The days were lonely. The nights were even lonelier. Even though James was laying there next to her, there was a distance between them. At first Kate thought it was just the exhaustion. But as the weeks wore on, it only got worse.

She clutched the phone to her chest, loneliness washing over her once more. She couldn't even remember the last time James had told her he loved her. Stepping into Naomi's bedroom, she checked on her napping daughter. She was laid out on her bed, dark curls flying in every direction. Small, heart shaped lips were opened as she dozed. Kate brushed a few tendrils out of her daughters face, smiling lightly down at her before exiting the room.

Walking down the hall, she entered their drawing room and sat down in front of the piano, phone still clutched to her chest. She hadn't touched the keys in months; neither had James. Both had been too busy with other things. She pushed the cover back and ran her hands lightly over the keys, just touching, not enough to make any noise. She was brought back to the moment she had started playing again, after her miscarriage. Tears unwillingly filled her eyes as she remembered.

Quickly, she brushed them away, not wanting to get stuck in a memory. Her phone rang, startling her. Not even looking at the screen, she answered.

"Hello?" she said, trying to keep her voice steady.

"Kate! What's up chica?" Kate gave a small smile at the sound of Amanda's voice.

"Hey, Manda. Just taking a quick breather while Naomi's napping. What's going on with you? Things good?"

Amanda chuckled on the other end. "Yeah. Things are good. Just got off the phone with Em." Kate could practically hear the frustration in her friend's voice. "She's going batshit again."

"Well she's getting married in a little under a month along with her design company opening up. I think she's got a right to be a little crazy."

Amanda scoffed at her. "Oh come on. Her and Logan have been waiting for this since they were teenagers. You'd think she'd want some small little thing, quick and easy. They really should've done what Carlos and I did."

Kate laughed at that.

"You mean get married in Vegas because you were rip roaring drunk off your asses?"

"Okay, I admit. We did things a little backwards. But we're all happy and lovey dovey now, right?"

"Well yes. But still. You said it yourself; they've been waiting years for this moment. Why shouldn't they want it to be special?" Kate pointed out. Amanda huffed out a breath.

"Yeah yeah yeah. I just don't like being dragged into it all. Good thing they aren't having a wedding party. I would've been pissed if I had to stand up there in some ugly dress."

Once again, Kate let out a laugh. "You really think Emily would've made you wear an ugly dress?"

"Oh hell yes. It's like every bride's right to make their bridesmaids look ridiculous. Especially Em. I played a few too many pranks on her when we were kids. She'd most definitely make me wear something hideous just for payback. Oh hey, have you heard about Kendall's date?"

"You mean his date to the wedding?" Kate asked, frowning slightly.

"Yeah. Some random chick. A writer maybe? I don't know. Carlos is going crazy over it. He actually just went over to Kendall's house to grill him."

Kate rolled her eyes. "Oh lovely. Can't he just let Kendall be?"

"Of course not. Kendall's the last single one. I told him to chill, but he wouldn't listen. Is James being just as stupid?"

Kate felt her heart constrict a little at the mention of her husband.

"Oh. Um. Well…"

"Kate? Is everything alright?" Amanda asked softly. Kate took a deep breath trying to control her emotions.

"Of course. Everything's fine. You know, James is just really busy with the new movie and everything."

Amanda heard the waver in her friend's voice. "Katie, what's going on?" she asked, this time with a little more force. Breaking, Kate felt a few tears fall.

"He's gone all the time," she finally said, voice breaking. "His career is taking off and I'm so incredibly proud of him. I knew it was going to be difficult, but I just didn't expect it to be like this. Even when he's here, it's like I'm alone. He's so distant."

"Have you talked with him about this?"

Kate shook her head, even though she knew Amanda couldn't see her. "No. I don't want to stress him even more. This movie is huge for him. I need to be supportive of that. And I am."

Amanda huffed at her.

"But what about how you feel? Obviously you aren't doing that great. He's your husband for crying out loud. When has James ever not cared about how you felt?" she demanded. At Kate's silence she continued on. "Exactly. You _need_ to talk to him."

"I don't want to put any more pressure on him," Kate responded quietly. Amanda caught something in her tone.

"What aren't you telling me, Kate?"

The sound of her daughter stirring had Kate turning her head. "I hear Naomi. I'll talk to you later. Thanks Manda. See you at the wedding," she said quickly before hanging up.

Amanda stared at her phone, narrowing her eyes at it. She had almost started to call Kate back before changing her mind. She'd just grill her at the wedding.

* * *

"Oh Emily, you look beautiful."

Emily grinned widely at the women in front of her. "You think?"

"Absolutely. Logan won't know what hit him," Kate replied softly, recalling the words that were spoken to her on her own wedding day.

"What about me? Am I pretty?"

Everyone turned to look down at the small girl with the halo of blonde hair. She was twirling around in her flower dress, making the women laugh.

"Of course sunshine. You're the most beautiful flower girl in the whole world," Emily said to her daughter. She bent down and placed a kiss on her forehead before straightening back up. "Is it almost time? I'm ready to just do this!"

"Patience, girl," Cassie said, laughing.

"I've been patient, for over eight years."

"You've waited this long, a few more minutes won't hurt."

Before she could reply, Amanda came into the room, arms full. "Alright ladies, I've got the alcohol."

"Manda, unlike you, I'd like to be sober during my wedding," Emily said, eying the large bottle in her friend's arms. Amanda rolled her eyes.

"Because it's your wedding day, I'll let that slide. But I decided we needed a girls moment. And what's a girls moment without champagne?"

She handed out the glasses and filled them up, with the exception of Hannah's. "You, little miss, get sparkling water," Amanda said, handing the child her own special glass. "Alright, I'll start. Em, I hope you two have a lifetime filled of happiness. And when Logan pisses you off, laxatives are always a good option."

The women laughed at that, clinking their glasses. Kate spoke next.

"Just remember to always have faith in each other, especially when things get tough. You've made it this far. You're exactly what Logan needs; you two fit together. And I wish you nothing but love and happiness."

Emily felt the first prickling of tears, so they quickly clinked their glasses together. Cassie turned to her.

"Em, I know it was hard letting Logan back in, but I'm so proud of you for doing it. And now you get to marry your best friend and the love of your life. Just be happy, Em."

Before they could clink their glasses together once more, Hannah spoke up.

"Mommy, you're the most beautiful Mommy ever! I'm so glad you and Daddy are together and that we're all getting married!"

Any traces of tears vanished as they all laughed.

"Me too, sunshine. Me too," Emily responded right before they clinked their glasses together once more and took a drink. Amanda raised an eyebrow slightly at Kate, watching as she lifted the glass to her lips without actually taking a sip. Kate saw her gaze and quickly set the glass down.

Before Amanda could say anything, they were interrupted.

"Ladies, we're ready to start," James said as he poked his head in the door. He grinned at Emily. "Man you're going to knock him dead."

She laughed at him and followed the other women out of the door. James stood there, waiting for Kate. When she exited the room, he took her arm. She gave him a small smile as they walked to their seats. He noticed her tense frame and frowned down at her.

"Are you okay, babe?" he asked quietly when they sat down. Kate avoided his eyes and nodded.

"I'm fine. Shh…they're starting," she replied, shushing him as the music started.

Hannah came down first. Unable to control her excitement, she skipped down the aisle, swinging the basket of flowers as she tossed them. She made it to the front where Logan, laughing slightly, bent down and kissed her. He then took her hand in his own and kept her by his side.

The congregation stood up as Emily appeared at the end of the aisle. She was beaming as she glided towards Logan, an expression of wonder on his own face. When she reached the front, he grinned his signature crooked grin at her, making her heart skip. Emily joined hands with him as the minister began.

"It is one of life's richest surprises when the accidental meeting of two life paths lead them to proceed together along the common path as husband and wife. It is one of life's finest experiences when a casual relationship grows into a permanent bond of love. This meeting and this growth bring us together today as we witness the union of Logan Mitchell and Emily Daniels."

The minister turned to Emily. "Do you, Emily, take Logan to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, so long as you both shall live?"

Emily grinned at Logan and nodded. "I do."

"Do you, Logan, take Emily to be your lawfully wedded wife, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, so long as you both shall live?"

"Hell yeah I do!" he responded, grinning. Emily broke out into giggles, followed by the congregation. Even the minister chuckled. Facing the congregation, he continued on.

"Logan and Emily have chosen to speak their own vows. Emily, you may proceed."

Emily took a breath and began to speak.

"Logan, as I stand here before you, I see all of the reasons that I fell in love with you when we were teenagers. But I also see the man you've become; the father you've become, and it makes me love you even more. I never planned on seeing you again, but I can't tell you how thankful I am that fate had another plan."

"Standing here, I'm reminded of so much. Every smile, every embrace, every tear you've wiped from my face. Every laugh that we've ever shared, and every hard time we made it through together. I know that we'll have many more to come, but when I look into your eyes, I see love. And the promise of many more beautiful moments to come. I feel safe with you, Logan. I love you. You have my heart and you always will."

Logan squeezed her hands, his heart about to beat out of his own chest. The minister turned to him. "Logan, you may proceed."

"Em, it's been a _long_ time coming to this day," he started, causing her to laugh. "I knew all those years ago that you were it for me. For whatever reason, fate chose to delay this. I didn't understand then, but I do now. Our time apart served to show just how much you truly mean to me."

"You gave me the most beautiful daughter in the world. You gave me yourself. If Hannah is the light of my life, you Em, are the sky to which I wake every morning. You embody the bright skies and full nights of my life. You are everything. And that's all I could ever want. I love you, and I'll spend forever showing you that."

As the couple spoke, Kate was brought back, once again, to her own wedding. Tears prickled her eyes as she remembered how happy she was then. Now things just seemed to be messed up. A tear fell silently down her cheek. She brought a hand up, trying to quickly wipe it away.

James looked down at her, surprised to see tears in her eyes. He took her hand in his own, startling her. Kate looked up at him, eyes unreadable. Unnerved by her expression, James just gave her a smile and squeezed her hand, hoping to help. She turned her head quickly back to the ceremony, heart beating quickly.

Logan and Emily exchanged rings, still grinning like fools. Once done, the minister concluded the ceremony.

"Logan and Emily, before this gathering you have expressed your love for one another and exchanged rings as a symbol of your deep commitment. It is now my pleasure to pronounce you as husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Logan swooped down, capturing Emily's lips in a sweet kiss. The couple broke apart, laughing as Hannah jumped on the both of them.

"We got married!" she shouted to the congregation.

* * *

Kate exited a bathroom stall to see Amanda standing there waiting, arms crossed.

"Manda. What are you doing…," she was interrupted.

"Cut the shit, Kate. What's going on with you? First you're all terrified of talking to your own husband about your feelings, then you get weird with the champagne, not even drinking a little. Next thing I know you take off and run into the bathroom the moment the ceremony's over. What? Are you pregnant or something?"

Kate turned from the sink, staring at her wide eyed. Taking in her expression, Amanda's own eyes widened.

"Oh shit. I was just kidding. But you _are_ pregnant, aren't you?" she asked incredulously. Kate nodded slowly.

"Yes," she responded. Amanda stepped closer and pulled Kate into a hug, causing the tears to fall. "We so suck at waiting. James' career is starting to really take off and he's gone all the time and I just don't know how to handle this," she sobbed out. Amanda pulled back to look at her.

"You've got to tell him, Kate. He's your husband…" Kate interrupted her, stepping back and shaking her head.

"You don't understand, Manda. It's not just that he's gone. Even when he's there I feel alone. I don't remember the last time James actually told me he loved me. If he remembers he'll throw in a quick 'love you' at the end of a phone call; and that's _if_ he remembers. When he is home, he's distant. I haven't had a real conversation with him in weeks," Kate said, arms wrapped around her body, as if to shield herself.

"Maybe you're just reading too much into it. He's probably just tired."

"I know he's exhausted. I _know_ that. But I also know my husband. Even when he's crazy busy, he's always made time for us. Now…it's like we're an afterthought."

"Now I know that's not true. James loves you; he's batshit crazy over you. Kate, you've _got_ to talk to him...," Amanda said, practically pleading with her. Kate leaned up against the bathroom wall, arms still wrapped around herself.

"I'm afraid to. What if I'm right? What if…I'm not as important to him anymore?" she asked quietly.

Amanda grabbed her in another tight hug. "Talk to him," she demanded, a hard tone to her voice. "Come on, let's go."

Kate pulled out of her grasp. "Let me fix my makeup. I'll be out right behind you."

Nodding slowly, Amanda left the bathroom. Her eyes scanned the ballroom, searching.

"Hey Manda, come on! Let's go dance!"

Carlos appeared by her side, an arm snaking around her waist.

"Not now, Romeo. I'm on a mission." He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Sweet. What are we doing?"

Her eyes narrowed as they landed on her target. "I'm going to bust your friend. I'd stay back if I were you," she said as she broke out of his grasp and headed straight for James. Carlos watched, debating internally on whether or not to go save his friend. Shrugging, he figured James could take care of himself.

"Diamond!" Amanda barked. James turned, startled. He looked at her in confusion. "Get your ass over to that women's bathroom right now."

"Manda, I'm married. And so are you, as a matter of fact…"

Amanda growled at him. "Not what I meant and not funny at all. Your wife is in there, convinced that you don't love her anymore."

James' eyes widened down at her. "What?" he asked blankly, unsure of what she just said.

"You heard me. Get your ass in there and fix it before I kick you so hard you'll get a vagina the size of the Grand Canyon," she threatened.

He took off running towards the bathroom, heart pounding rapidly. Was it true? Was Kate really feeling like this? Not even stopping, he pushed open the bathroom door to see Kate leaning up against the wall.

"Kate," he breathed out. Her head snapped up, eyes meeting his. He was startled to see the remnants of tears on her face. Quickly she tried to brush them aside, hoping to look normal.

"James, what are you doing in here? This is the women's restroom…," she trailed off. James was staring at her intensely. "James, what's going on?"

"You tell me."

She looked at him, confused. "What…" She was cut off by James striding over to her and crushing his mouth to hers.

"Do you honestly think I don't love you anymore?" he asked softly against her lips. He felt her tremble in his arms, a sign that she was going to crack. He tightened his hold on her. "Why would you think that?"

"It's stupid," she said quietly. James kissed her once more, shushing her. He sat down, pulling her into his lap and holding onto her tightly.

"Tell me, baby."

"It's just…you've been so busy. Which is good; it's fine! You've got your career and you know I'm so proud of you…"

"I know," he replied, his hand stroking down her hair. Kate continued on.

"And I know that you're tired when you come home, but it feels like we don't matter to you anymore. Me or Naomi. Even when you're home, James, it feels like you're not really there. We don't talk anymore. And if we do, it's just small talk. It's not like I want you to come home and lavish attention on me. Just be there with me."

James sat there, astounded as he listened to Kate. He had no idea that she was feeling like this. Shame instantly filled him as he realized how checked out he had been in their relationship. He had been so excited over this move role that he'd been completely neglecting his family. He pressed his lips in a soft kiss to her forehead.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I've been so wrapped up in this that I didn't even realize I had begun to take you for granted. But Kate, I love you. And Naomi. More than anything else in the world. If you wanted me to, I'd drop out of the movie in a heartbeat."

"James! No! You know I would _never_ ask you to do that," she protested. He chuckled and hugged her tight.

"I know. You're the most wonderful woman I've ever met. And I'm sorry if I haven't been acting like that lately. But please, don't ever think that I don't love you. How many times do I have to tell you? You're my world, Kate. I'd be lost without you."

Wrapped up in his arms, Kate felt herself relax into his embrace. She leaned her head onto his shoulder, lips pressed against his neck in a soft kiss.

"I love you," she replied. They sat there in silence for a few moments, James just rocking her back and forth, occasionally placing a kiss in her hair. Kate felt her stomach flip flop, reminding her of one more thing. "James?" she said quietly. He hummed at her in response. "There's one more thing."

"What is it, babe?" he asked.

Kate took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."

James pulled back to stare down at her. Seeing his expression, she nodded up at him in confirmation. "How far along?" he asked when he finally regained his speech.

"A little over two months," she replied. Before he could say anything, Kate hurried on. "I know it's bad timing. And that we wanted to wait until Naomi was a little older but…"

"We suck at waiting," he finished for her, a grin on his face. Kate hesitantly smiled up at him.

"You're okay?" she asked him.

"Let me ask you. How are you feeling?"

"Better. A whole hell of a lot better now."

"As long as you're okay, I'm okay," he said before crushing his mouth once more to hers. "Hey Kate?" She raised an eyebrow at him. "We're going to have a baby."

This time, Kate matched James' grin. She nodded at him. Suddenly, James let out a shout of excitement and lifted her up, spinning her around. Kate laughed, arms flung around his neck.

"We've got to tell everyone!" he said. Kate stopped him before he could run out and yell out their news to everyone.

"James! This is Emily and Logan's day. We can't do that!"

He looked at her, the beginnings of a pout on his face. "Just the guys then?" When she raised an eyebrow at him, he continued on. "They're family, Kate!"

She sighed, conceding. "Fine. Just them though."

James took her hand in his, pulling her from the bathroom. "Hey, have you seen Kendall's date? Blonde writer chick?" he questioned.

"Yeah…Tiff, I think he said her name was."

"Do you know how he met her?"

Kate frowned a bit. "No…I haven't gotten a chance to talk to either of them." She looked up and saw the devious look on her husbands face, causing her to sigh. "Don't even think about it, Diamond."

"But Carlos got to grill him!" James protested.

"Leave him alone," she replied, trying to bite back a grin. James gave a dramatic sigh before changing his direction. Kate suddenly found herself pulled out onto the dance floor.

"Let's dance for a bit before we tell them," he said in her ear. Kate nodded and smiled once more against his neck, relaxing into his arms.

Things were going to be okay. Life still wasn't easy, but they were making it through. Feeling the need to speak, she whispered, "I love you," softly against his neck.

James smiled down at her, his hold tightening just a bit. "I love you too, babe. And don't you ever forget that. I'd be lost without you."


End file.
